


Autophobia.

by AshenFeathers



Category: Original Work
Genre: Autophobia, M/M, Original Character(s), Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:11:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8663500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshenFeathers/pseuds/AshenFeathers
Summary: The Phobia of Being Alone.
Lowkey introducing the two characters that you'll probably see a lot of here.Crosspost between here and my DA (HazardSevenAll of this is original work. Nikolai © Me. Corin © mneori on DA ( who you should def check out.)





	

     Hands ghost over too-pale skin, every mark visible against it. A crescent shape forms on the crux of his hip where he digs his nails into. Dark bags are under his eyes, and they are a dull green compared to that of his youth - he misses the days where he had some sort of happiness. Between the absence of his twin brother, and the lack of having his friends, Nikolai was lost. His friends, all seemed to be busy. His twin brother Mikhail was just as busy, if not more so between working, school, and everything else. And there’s a part of Nikolai that’s burning with jealousy. He doesn’t have those things, he doesn’t have anything. 

    At least that’s what felt like the truth.

    Fingers continue their trail up to his ribs, where they stick out ever so slightly. Seems he’d lost muscle mass as well, and that was definitely a sign of malnourishment. He gave a soft huff, sucking in his stomach and noted that he had, in fact, lost weight due to his distress. He lets the air go, body relaxing the slightest bit as he ties his hair back, looking at the space between his collarbones. He lets his hands ghost over them, feeling skin tight around bone, and he sighs softly. There was nothing about him that was beautiful in his eyes. The constant taunting, the constant staring because of his half-albino genes. The pale hair, the green eyes, and the even paler skin made such an odd combination. He wasn’t his twin - who’d gotten the full force of the albinism their birth mother carried - who looked ethereal with his white hair, red eyes, pale skin. To Nikolai, Mikhail was the one that was beautiful.

    And a part of him hated his brother for that.

   But he could never truly hate his brother. His brother was one of the few things that he did have. His brother was someone that stood by him in even his craziest endeavors, whether big or small, the other male was always there for him. He was so tired - so very tired - of living in his brother’s shadow, though, and when he looked in the mirror, that’s who he saw. A mere shadow of a man that could be great.

   The door opens rather quietly, and Nikolai doesn’t notice it, still lost in thought, when Corin walks in. Warm arms wrap around his middle, and Nikolai looks up to the frenchman. Chestnut hair fell over beautiful baby blues, and they bring Nikolai back to Earth. Corin’s hands ghost over his waist, and Nikolai gives a slight shudder as he feels them press gently into the marks where his own nails had been. Soft kisses are pressed to his shoulder, his neck, his back, hair brought out of it’s tie to fall against his skin. 

   “You are so amazingly beautiful. I know that their words sting, and I know telling you that they don’t matter doesn’t help sometimes. But I am here to remind you that you are absolutely beautiful in every way possible, and I am not the only one who thinks so. I know that you feel alone - I can see it in the dullness in your eyes. I promise you, I will bring back the light in your eyes. I promise that I won’t ever leave you alone.”

And while Nikolai felt safer, more assured, the creeping feeling of Corin being wrong haunted him - it would always haunt him. But he knew, in the back of his mind, that Corin would keep that promise. He could feel it, in his bones, in the way that Corin held him, the way he kept Nikolai close, and the way his lips felt against scarred skin. Nikolai gives in - lets himself believe in the whimsical, far away future he wants for him and Corin, where they grow old, and they live peacefully, and his anxiety is pushed back, and his fears diminished.


End file.
